Eventually I decided to tear off the safety net, the safety net that will guarantee my employment after my MBA. Well, may be you will say I am stupid. I can just be silent and make the decision only if I found another place to go after the MBA. But I just want to play fair with my company, a company that I love so much that I even have the feeling of being a betrayer by speaking up the resignation.
My immediate manager was angry. I understand his feeling, he is the one who most support my decision for MBA study, which involve a temporary leave from the company for a period of more than a year that busy schedule due to new projects is expected. Being a typical Japanese, he simply believe that I will return to the company as soon as I finish my study.
And I myself also thought of returning to my company, although my company rejected my application for company funding for my MBA study, by saying that there is no such a system of education funding in the company. Nevertheless, it is a comfortable place to work, with friendly people, challenging international mega projects, decent pays and benefits which no one should have think of leave at the first place.
My manager asked me what changed my mind? I honestly told him that I have been struggling for this idea for a long time. Spoke with several MBA alumni and students, attended several MBA career seminars, all gave me a clear message that one should try to embrace as many new challenges as possible in the MBA program, which can be a perfect platform for transition or I would say reborn. And that is how one will eventually find out what he loves the most and does it for life.
I am still in the quest - the quest for my perfect career. Therefore, I need a reset. Start with what I have so far but without need to look back. And since there will be no safety net, the only choice is to move forward. Move forward for new challenges, for new knowledge and skills, for new friendships and networking. And who knows, I can still contribute to my beloved company in future, whether I will return, or work at different a company as a partner, collaborator or even customer to my current company.
My manager looked at me calmly this time and said, it is very hard for me to say yes in my position. But since you already make up your mind, I respect your decision. But be reminded that this is a Japanese company, once you leave, we will not accept you again even if you willing to return, no matter how competent you are.
I told him, I love the company, and I just need to find out what I love the most. If I eventually find out that here is where I should return, I will still try to return, whether you are welcoming me or not.